Dear "Ex"

As much as I enjoyed our time together n have love for u, our time apart reminded me that I never loved u or was in love with u. In fact the reason I said I loved u was to allow u to appreciate the fact that I cared enough to keep trying to get us to a better place but stead of being humble you added more to the list of turn offs. No longer was it about who hurt who first Cuz truth is u were never loyal to me, honest to me, or willing to put in time n consistency to get us to a place were we will both respect and understand each other. All the things I overlooked and made excuses for multiplied. Who want to deal with a guy who knows u deserve better but outta pride n low ego won't treat u as such but instead plays mind games to drain ur energy? Partners are supposed to uplift, help u see urself in a way that pushes u to ur higher self. The lying, manipulation, close mindedness, wanting control over my thoughts n way of life will never compute to what I want n deserve. You being young and scorned is no longer an excuse. All the thoughts I had about u being unique has gone with the wind n u r just a copy of insecure men who questions WHY SHE FUCK WITH ME stead of appreciating WHY SHE FUCK WITH ME. We had potential but that's all it was. We were never GREAT, shit we weren't even Good long enough to have passed a 90 day trail. The fact u can say n do things one day n deny me the next shows how selfish u are n I Dont deserve selfish love especially since I've NEVER been that type. So thanks for pushing me more towards my actually standards and no longer thinking I might actually be too picky. Thanks for reminding me working with man who hasn't even made a blueprint on who he is n who he wants to be will always be an emotional rollercoaster.  THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY "BUILD A MAN" EXPECTATIONS MORE REALISTIC.

Guess Whos back....

Women might hate me after this one

Do Women Look for LOVE or Security?

depends on the type of female u dealing with...

there are some female out there who only thinks about the now ... what does he have to offer me now? ima call them the "money make me cum chicks." they are the selfish ones who only want u to give give give so that they can feel better about themselves n therefore find u attractive n loving... so u must have a car, a great job or a greater hustle n willing to give her as much as she needs. the ones who wants to show off to their ex n say well my man now spends 5 times as much on me as u did... i wouldnt even call them the gold diggers cuz they arent even thinking about u in the future cuz as soon as a man with more money comes around they will forget about u n go to the next one

there are some who will be there cuz they see the "green" these are the classic gold diggers to me... they knows he is hard working,has a good career, has potential n that falls deep so they will stuck by him n motivate him as long as he one day put a ring on it n give all his earning all to her...these are the "sneaky bitches" lol these are the ones who 2 to 25 years into your relationship she gives up on u cuz the money is gone.... perfect example "JUST WRIGHT" soon as he wasnt able to play anymore she left him...smh

then theres the i just wanna be loved kind... who dont care who u are what u have long as u make them feel loved at times u good... these are the types who says shit like "he only beats me cuz he loves me" the ones who will deal with him cheating on her 18 times having 3 other baby mommas kids all back to back but she doesnt leave or just leaves n keep coming back aka "the weak chicks" every time i think of them i think of Eve's song LOVE IS BLIND

"You played with her like a doll and put her back on the shelf Wouldn't let her go to school and better herself She had a baby by your ass and you ain't giving no help Uh-huh big time hustler, snake motherfucker One's born everyday and everyday she was your sucker How could you beat the mother of your kids? How could you tell her that you love her? Don't give a fuck if she lives She told me she would leave you, I admit it she did But came back, made up a lie about you missing your kids Sweet kisses, baby ain't even know she was your mistress Had to deal with fist fights and phone calls from your bitches"

then theres the i just want the sex type bitches (used to be one of these i cant lie... but with head) were there no time to waste on emotions just gimme the dick/head n leave me alone the ones who dont want anything more then to get hers cuz in her eyes that all men are good for... the ones who walls are so built up they wouldnt see a good man if he were to back off then send her money to take care of her sick husband cuz he just wants her to be happy (dear john.... sorry but ya know i fucks with my movies n music hard lol) ill call these the "icebox chicks" lol

theres the "down ass chick" who will be there thick or thin, rain or fall, expect u flaws n all, cater to u, night n day BUT also respects herself to know when its not worth fiighting for. the one who will be there to lend u money, who will go to ur event even if she doesnt like/understand the sport u play or doesnt like watching random females go crazy over u, or thinks what u do is dangerous but as long as u are honest n faithful n keep her happy she will be there with a sign out to support u. the type of female that will love u unconditionally even if trey songz were to ask to marry her........... n even tho i joke around about my "love" for trey songz i would NOT cheat on my "mr right" with trey nor anyone else................ down ass chick is the one who will help u better yourself without molding u into someone u arent. the one who doesnt care if u have money now or if u will both end up renting for the rest of ur lives... the one who will always consider ur feelings n will fight for things when it gets hard... the type that MOST men want but most over look or cant find...

sigh... i say all this to get to my MAIN point...with all of the other types of chicks most claiming to be real n down ass i understand why its hard for a good man to find a good woman and vice versa or even in the same sex for my gay readers but WE ALL need to stop sayin "all men/women are the same"... its just more shady ones out there then real ones so for even 10 to 20 fake ones theres only one real one.... which brings me to my next note which will be "all because u love me doesnt mean we have to get married" STAY TUNE FOR THAT ONE

ima leave ya with some of my fav. biblical quotes on love


Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth 1 John 3:18

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4

C.r.u.s.h (writing spring of 2007)

All becuz I liked u or whateva doesn't mean u were someone important I
have had many crushes in my life time n less then a hand full of them
ill say were important... damn many of them just come n go don't want to
mention names but I think u know who u are n if u not sure O WELL...
only two guys I eva liked ill say has/is in my heart so far. So next
time u think u someone important think twice... IIGHT
--mrs lupe fiasco

NO MORE VICTIM

since i am noticing i attract the SAME type of "victims" (lol) i am no longer lookin for a victim im looking for a MAN... not one to get married with but someone who i can trust, spend time with, n who can be my support when i need... cuz honestly im not always independent... not in the sense i need him to pay my bills but i need him to pick me up when i am down n help guide me when i am blind... remind me how kool n pretty i am when i feel down n out.. nor am i dependent cuz i hate havin to ask for things so i will try my hardest to get it myself b4 i come to u unless we build that trust n i would have to work on letting that pride down....but anyways, like i said im not lookin for a husband... not sure im any where near ready for that... i just want someone to share good times with n do things to make each other smile... i want a relationship that even if it doesnt work i dont feel like 60% of my time was a waste

i understand not everyone can be as versatile as me n i dont think what i ask for is too much but it sickens me when good men turn bad after dealing with some gold digging bitch but a chick likes me doesnt ever get to meet the real sweet side of him what i get is the side who is so done with being their true self that they just push all emotions to the side so they can get a quick nut

im not too upset tho cuz its not enuff for me to change the way i want to be treated or want in a man overall... will NEVER down size that department but i will try shopping at the mall stead of walmart for better quality maybe then it will last longer

for the love of electronics

I remember trying to find the remoter… but it was too late I was in love. Being used to basic television…. Big boxes with antennas you were different … you were my 50’’ Plasmas with many features I wanted, some features I didn’t even dream about…didn’t even care that I was paying so much for a short time warranty... I never thought about replacing you, because you made me feel like no other… you were the perfect fit to my lonely dark room… but I now see the features in u wasn’t as unique as I thought… I fall too quick without reading the manual n fine print n something went wrong… not blaming u but u didn’t help coming with a free DVD player n surround sound…felt like Xmas everyday when I was with you… whenever I was sad you knew just what to do to take my mind off of it… never thought about what would happened when the warranty ends… You may have seemed perfect when I got you, and I even though I was willing to stick with u through thick n thin I now see all your faults... Maybe someone on EBay will buy you and fall for you till the day that person realize that u have many glitches but no time left on your warranty... By then I’ll be long gone and you would have to deal with the fact I would’ve been there flaws and all but you choice the path you took… I’ll find my perfect 152’’ HDTV IED with all the latest features like being able to connect WiFi and watch YOUTUBE videos one second then watch Adult Swim the next… yea something that I can purchased on Black Friday that came with a blue ray and a 10 year warrantee , yuuup I need that upgrade.

Natural